June 02, 2010

a FEW concerning THINGS

I am quite concerned with a few things in my life lately. The first one being that I sweat like a flippin Sumo wrestler. I always have and have come to the conclusion I always will. I sweat when I am hot, I sweat more when I am cold (?). And when I am nervous about something my pitts flow like the Mississippi.



As you can see I have tried a few different types of deodorant. These are just what I have on hand at the moment. I have pretty much tried them all. And nothing stops me from sweating. So NOW here is what my concern is. What has all the aluminum that I have slathered under my arms for the last 30 years done to my brain. I have become extremely ditsy lately.... am I getting Alzheimers from all the pit putty? Or does it have nothing to do with deodorant and everything to do with lack of sleep and the fact I have four kids sucking the ever living brains out of my head. I love them though...they can have my brains I really don't need them.

Now my next concern..... New white summer t-shirts. Or any shirt for that matter. I ruin them all. I sweat like such a freaking pig, my shirts never last past a season. So here you have a nice view of my arm pit, hows about that arm dangle, this is the first day of my new shirt. I will give this shirt till the 4Th of July and it will be in the garbage. Especially after I wear it to the ranch.....I might as well just hang buckets under my arm pits for that week end....I am gonna be a big sweaty mess. I actually am very excited to talk with P-dub about her sweaty pits. She writes quite frequently of her sweating dilemma. You can read about how P-Dubs armpits gushed violently in this post. See I think we were separated at birth Ree and I.

Now for my next concern....BLANKIE. Yikes! Look at this thing. It belongs to my 7 year old. It is GROSS, but she loves it. She will not be separated from it, while in the confines of her home. If she is trying to do something and needs both hands she carries is under her chin. I have spent half of this childs life looking for this blankie. I think it is hiding from her....
It started out as a plush white baby blanket with a little picture of Pooh Bear in the corner....

Now look at it....JUST look! I know, I know, it's scary. Freaky. Nightmarish. It has eyes and a mouth. Why do I want my kid to get rid on this so badly. WHY does this blankie concern me so much? I think It has mind controlling powers. It must GO!

Now for one more concerning thing in my life these days....

THE PIG IS PREGNANT!


And this is Schmitty. He would be the so said father in this scenario. HOW did this happen you ask? When the unwed guineas in our home have separate sleeping arrangements....WELL apparently son 2 and daughter 1 were letting their pigs have play dates while they were away at school.

Alrighty then......

So how do I know Penny the guinea pig is "with pig"?

Well her....well her.... you know...her nipples....did I just write nipples on my blog?

I am a big girl I guess I can say nipples....anyway her nipples are rather large and she is looking thick around her guinea waist. This is the cause of the last concerning thing in my life today.....

I will let you know the outcome of the pregnant pig.

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7 comments:

  1. AWE....congratulations GRANDMA! I love it....wait until my girls hear this, oh, piggy!

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  2. All the sweating is why I like tank tops in the summer. My latest test deodorant is by Lady Speed Stick and it's supposed to prevent the staining of your shirts. That would be great, except for the fact that it doesn't actually stop me from sweating!! Anyhoo, Dr. Oz says we shouldn't wear anti-perspirant, so I guess as long as the deodor part works I shouldn't complain, even if the perfumy smell of the stuff makes me sneeze. I have to try a new kind every time, I can't make it through two sticks and it still work for me. I have actually torn my house apart before trying to locate a funny new smell only to realize it was my new deodorant! Sorry for hijacking your post, but I guess you touched a nerve LOL!!

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  3. Oh my dear friend Shelia...I am not sure you will like this but there is a way to stop your pits from sweating....ready....you can get botox (i think its botox) injected into your armpit glands;( Maybe someone should come up with some type of maxi-pad for your pits...that way your shirt stays dry:)

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  4. I have a deodorant that you have to try....Degree Girl "Just Dance". It's in a cool black container with pink top. I have searched high and low my whole life for the right invisible solid and this is it!! I never sweat any more and it doesn't leave a white mark on my black shirts. Try it and let me know if it works as good for you.

    Now, for your pregnant piggy problem..you are on your own girlfriend! Ha ha.

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  5. Not sure which is worse, the botox or the aluminum. Tom's has aluminum? I thought only the anti-perspirants did. I had the same ditzy-foggy-mush brain thing going on. First I cut out all artificial sweeteners. That helped LOADS! But it wasn't until I figured out I can't eat gluten and did away with that that I noticed the biggest difference.

    Oh, Sophia has been asking for one of those furry piggies. Just sayin' :)

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  6. I haven't tried the exact kind of Degree that another reader suggested above - but I totally love Degree products in general. I had tried several different ones over the years with limited success, but wanted to find something that actually worked WELL so that I wouldn't sweat all over my wedding dress. Turns out that something is Degree...and I've never looked at any other kind since!

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  7. OMG!!! PENNY's PREGGARS?!?!?! I knew it. Smitty needs to learn how to keep it in his pants! LOL
    I agree with Fran - I have to switch deoderant each time I buy it because not only do I sweat like a hog but it stops keeping the evil odor away and then smelling stale and icky. Ok, TMI. ;-)

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